Sunday, 11 October 2009

Such a shame...

Stephen Gately. Member of Boyzone.

That's all we woulda known - unless his brave soul would have came out. Literally.

His need to tell the the world he was gay was one more voice speaking out against the norm. Yes - gay. Bad word. How dare he? And yet, dare, he did. It's not so shocking. Neither should have it been for a group of five men, that one of them would have been particial to a bit of the "other". He is, was, gay. No excuses. No apology. Just a simple statement of fact.

I'm deliberately writing this now, before sordid details of private life are exposed before the baying for blood. Private is just that. I don't care. Stephen's honesty opened me to be honest with with my closest friends - that my my mum was, and is indeed, gay.

Yes, lil miz rock chick had an excuse to like a boy band. It was a point of reference to point to when she was telling her her friends her mama wasn't *quite* normal.

Yes, he was a point of reference when her male friend, who everyone assumed was *into* her, needed to tell a secret.

He was a normal man. In love. Living the way he wanted to. The way he felt right.

He was (god, it hurts saying *was*... should be IS!) a hero by being exactly as Stephen Gately is. A normal, Irish, brunette, funny, quite short, male. Oh yeah, and gay.

My warmest love and hopes go to those he loved.

In this small insistance, he helped more than he could ever know. It's a shame I wrote this before it was too late to say. I figure he'd be the sort of person who would read it.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

A small update

I've moved into a Woman's Project. It should be depressing, other women staying there have worse problems than I do, it's far away from my Love, and there's no internet access. But, it's not so bad. I have a Pepto Bismol pink room! It's all high ceilings and huge windows, and my bathroom is really big for an ensuite, big enough to house all my toiletries and such. I've got my little bits and bobs displayed, some glass bottles, gemstomes, pictures, and, of course, tea cups! So it's a little bit like home.

It's a step. In this Project, I have the support of qualified staff, people who want to help me move on and have the resourses to do so. I've been treated so kindly, and I still have the support of GAMH too, so I'm feeling hopeful. I'm forcing myself into a routine (a routine I'm shamelessly flouting for the sake of updating!), I've bought a few craft pieces to work on while I'm in my room, I'm continuing to practise knitting - generally, I suppose, keeping busy.

I'll admit, I jumped off the wagon. I ate a slice of pizza. And was immediately ill. Why do I do it? It's like I consiously do it to harm myself when I'm feeling down. A kind of cutting that that doesn't show scars. So, I'm back at day no. 2 without wheat. I'll get back up to a month again, then two, then a year, yada yada. I will.

Ok, so, I'll try to update at least once a week, but for now, I bid you adieu.

Good luck to me, and you!