Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Skunk Anansie - Secretly (uncut)

always loved this song, but today it made me sob a bit. No idea why, but it's still gorgeous!

I've been biding my time, been so subtly kind,
I've got to think so selfishly, 'cos you're the face inside of me.
I've been biding my days, you see evidently it pays,
I've been a friend, with unbiased views, then secretly lust after you
So now you feel rusty You're bored & bemused
You wanna do someone else, so you should be by yourself, instead of here with
me, secretly

Trying hard to think pure, bloody hard when I'm raw,
you're talking out so sexually, 'bout boys & girls & your friggin' dreams.
So Now you feel lusty, you're hot & confused.
You wanna do someone else, so you should be by yourself, instead of here with
me, secretly

So now you've been busted, you're caught feeling used.
You had to do someone else, you should've been by yourself,
You had to do someone else, you should've been by yourself,
instead of here with me, secretly, secretly

Monday, 16 August 2010


We are not friends. We were, once, so goodwill and pleasant memories carry weight and importance. A small piece of heart reserved for the lovely. But we do not know each others heart. We can not know the depth, for we never really asked.

Its not through lack of caring, no, for that would imply a certain choice when really I forgot time changes who we are. Once upon a time all we did together was all we were, there was no need for questions. Then we grew up, apart, and I never really realised it until one day the realisation hit like dust.

Blind and confused, I forgot who I am for a second, because how can I know myself when I don't know you?

The dust covers my eyes and I cry. I cry for those friends who didn't ever realised they weren't anymore.

*Just something I'm working on*

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Public Service Announcement - Charity/thrift/vintage shopping!

More than a few of my friends have commented on my usually successful trips to the charity shops in my area (I live in the mecca of charity and vintage shops :D), and often ask how I always come away with at least one thing. Any time I wear one of my new treasures, someone always asks where I got it and most are surprised when I say the charity shop!

But, surely, they no doubt wonder, that's where bad clothes go to die, after languishing at the bottom of the wardrobe for years - unloved, unwanted?

Well, no. Not always. Don't get me wrong, I usually have to rake through an awful lot of crap to find a diamond, but there is always items that have simply been donated out of the goodness of peoples hearts (or they ran out off storage and were forced at gunpoint to get rid of some stuff they loved but hadn't worn in ages - who, me?) , and they're there to be had.

Today, I was only supposed go to the bank, then the doctors, but walked back into my house with a skirt, a pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. All from charity shops.

I can't find my camera, so I'll describe what I bought.

One pair of black oval toed patent and snakeskin "look" courts with three thin straps, originally from Nine West. A snuggly, but not fluffy baby pink v neck 3/4 sleeve cotton jumper, originally from Debbie Morgan. A pair of bootcut blue jeans, originally from New Look, and finally, a black A-line skirt, originally from Wallis.

In fact, I'm wearing the skirt right now!

So, I started thinking - what are the rules I stick to when I go shopping? Charity and vintage shop finds account for over 80% of my wardrobe, so I must be doing something right if I'm constantly complimented!

So far, here they are.

1. Never buy anything originally from Primark. If you didn't buy it in that place, you're not likely to really want it now, are you? Plus it's so cheaply made, everytime!
2. On that point, look out for labels and brands you know and trust, or that have been recommended.
3. Know your colours. That neon green halter might look fun and kooky on the hanger, but is it really something you'd enjoy wearing if you usually wear pastels?
4. Sizes ALWAYS vary, so don't be depressed if that size 12 fits more like an 8.
5. When you do have a potential diamond in your hands, check stitching, for any flaws, frays and discolouring. In shoes, check the heel tips, inside the shoe and for any scuffs.
6. Yes, I know you like that black cardigan, but you have 12 at home. Do you really need another?
7. No matter what style you lean towards, every woman needs a little black dress, a white shirt, good fitting pair of jeans. 
8. The more of an idea you have of what you're after, the better. There's less of a chance of coming away with either nothing or something just to buy something.
9. In saying that, be open to something amazing to appear out of the blue (and bargain bin!)
10. Don't spend more than you intended to. My rule of thumb, especially with vintage is asking if I would be happy paying double the tag if it was brand new. Mostly, it works out!

Go forth, and happy shopping!!!

Friday, 13 August 2010

Learning to communicate

There's always been a little thought at the back of my head, one of those "I'll get around to it someday" kind of thoughts, when you suddenly realise you've been thinking about it for years but never acted on it.

I've always wanted to learn sign language.

The same way I've always wanted to learn to be fluent in Italian (I understand more than I speak), I've considered Sign as a language I would love to learn, considering there are over a million people in Scotland alone that suffer from some form of hearing impairment, it's a goal I think would benefit myself and the deaf customers I deal with on a regular basis.

Yesterday, in work, a woman approached a fellow colleague for assistance. I watched as she pointed to her ear and shook her head, signalling she was deaf, and said in the sort of thick accent that comes from being deaf from birth, "Help me". My colleague (who is new, it has to be said), look both confused and uncomfortable, so I stepped in to help. With a smile, she touched my arm and pointed to a gap in the shelf, where the product she wanted would be. I said clearly and a little slower than I would normally speak, "Let me check for you". I grabbed my scan gun and zapped the bar code, and my gun showed me there should be more in stock downstairs. I smiled and said "Yes, we have it, I'll go get some" and held up my two fingers to indicate I'd be two minutes. She smiled, counted out her fingers, and held them up. "Six" she said, "Six please".  I nodded and went to go get them.

Luckily, they weren't hard to find, I quickly brought them back, plus more to put on the shelf. It was those ready made drinks in a can, this one being G&T, Sainsbury's are doing an offer on them just now. I put 6 in her basket and she hugged me, pointing at the promo sign and remarked "What a great deal" (not just saying that, it actually is, whether I work there or not! :P) and mimed tipping a drink back and being, well, less than sober! We giggled and she touched my arm again, saying "Thank you" with such warmth in her eyes I almost hugged her right back. Instead, I just replied, "You're welcome" with a smile to match her own, and we parted company.

As lovely as an experience it was, I can't help but feel if I had a basic working knowledge of Sign I could have made my lovely customer's request somewhat easier. I imagine she goes through her whole day, trying to communicate with people who make no real effort to understand her. The new guy, I imagine, isn't a bad person, but he clearly felt uncomfortable and walked away relieved when I took over. I think if there was just one person in her day to day life who unexpectedly could not only understand, but could communicate in a way she knows as well as hearing people can understand the nuances in speech - it's a goal worth having, I think.

So I'm on it. Gonna start, at least, to look online, I've already had a peek and there's a wealth of information to be had on BSL (I'm looking here and here at the moment.), and later, when I've grasped the basics, I'm going to look at evening classes.

It's the right thing to do.

Thursday, 12 August 2010

sister, sister...sister, and fictional character!

Man I'm tired. I've been tired all the time lately, the muggy weather and pulling extra hours at work has left Miz a very sleepy girlie! When I get home, all I want to do is sleep, and not think too much. But for today, at least, I figured I should have at least a small update on stuffs, since there has infact been life outside work!

My ickle (half) sister Sara was staying with us for a while, she does have her own flat but it was no longer very safe, she felt scared just being there and I wasn't for having that! I won't lie, it wasn't easy having 3 people, 3 loads of stuff, in an one bed flat, even one as spacious as this, but I'd always much rather that than knowing my sister couldn't feel settled in her own home. She's moved on now, to her mama's new house, now that it was fixed up enough for her, and although I'm glad to have my living room back, I kinda miss the booger :p

In other news, Lynzi, my other sister, the one I'm convinced is the true eldest since she mothers me so much - has gone and done something that will put her in the Hall of Family Fame forever more. Yesterday, she gave birth to Thomas, a bundle of Joy, and Dev. You see, she acted as a surrogate for this lovely couple, and gave them something they had been wanting for such a long time. I can't even begin to imagine how utterly selfless one must be to do something that requires not only your body, but heart and soul.

It was something she thought long and hard about, she already has 2 amazing kids, and doesn't want anymore, but as a mother, she understood, on a level I will never understand, the pull of having a child, and sympathised deeply with the plight of couples who find it hard to conceive. After a year of weighing up the pro's and con's, she decided it was something worth doing, signed with an agency, and was eventually matched with J&D. Since Lynzi is the most awesome of all human beings, she became pregnant on their first try, and not long after, a production company got in touch and asked to document the pregnancy. Since then, they've filmed a few segments, and it will be shown on BBC2 in March. Don't worry, I WILL remind you (incessantly) nearer the time :D

My sister is my personal hero. She's accomplished so much already in her life, and I know she'll continue to amaze me throughout our life. Even so, just for this one thing, the absolute magnitude of it all, will never cease to be the single most epic thing I've ever witnessed. She laughs at me for being so emotional, but I think, in this case, it's totally justified.

Since this seem to be about my sisters, I'll sign off with this last little tidbit. My other other sister (and that ain't even the last of them, just the last I've news about!)  Jaime Leigh, has moved back from the middleofnowheresville where my mama and Lynzi live, to Glasgow. Already we've had two nights out on the lash, and I predict many more in the near future! It's good to have the lil angel*not* back home where she belongs, partying with me! I love it :D

Normal service (if there ever was!) will resume as soon as.... well... when I've got more to say!

Oh oh!

I did start writing my character diaries and had hoped to update daily until the Gathering, but Real Life sucks! I have started, posted one, and have written more, but they're all out of sequence as I write from different points in Livvy's lifetime. I promise to sit down really soon and link them up so I can publish them in order. Anyone wanting to know more, drop me a line and I'll get back to you!


Sunday, 1 August 2010

The Tale of the NaziFem

A little wander around the interwebs always amuses me, especially when I don't know where I'll end up. I've learned many a little known fact, gossiped over stuff I have no real care for, found great music/movies/people; generally, had a great time.

But ever so often, there's a real WTF moment - and recently there was one I couldn't pass without comment.

So, I was on TvTropes (yes, thank you Maffu - bastard) and ended up finding some ultra Nazi Feminist's blog.

Let's call it the online version of a car crash - bloody disgusting, and shaming to stare at it, even though you can't help it. And no, I'm not linking it.

The woman (and I baulk at calling her that, so lets call her NaziFem) was so twisted, so convinced her way was the only way to be, and even though she stated she would welcome open discussion, she banned certain comments from appearing, if someone was to have a different opinion than hers.

But there was one post in particular really really, offended me. She was getting all uppity about Firefly, and the fact she didn't think it was a female-friendly story. Now, that opinion doesn't bother me, not everyone will like the same things I do because they're stupid, obviously, but she went on to state that the way Joss Whedon writes his women characters obviously means he is a rapist.

I'm serious.

She outright said he rapes his wife.

I wish I was kidding.

NaziFem goes on, after some apparently non offensive (to her) prodding, to state that she believes in the radical version of what is considered rape. Which is to say that if a man (of course) tries to initiate sex (with a woman) it is rape, since the woman didn't ask for sex. Even if she consents, it is still rape, because the man pressured the woman into agreeing.

NaziFem is a lesbian, of course. The worst kind, who give the other, normal lady-lovin' ladies a bad name.

When someone asked NaziFem if a woman tries to have it on with another woman without her prior consent to try, if that was rape, and she admitted she hadn't considered that theory.

Of course.

Another woman commented, and told her that as a rape survivor  (she rightly doesn't want to consider herself a victim), she found the blogger's "crazy notion of rape offensive". Said NaziFem "your opinion isn't welcome here" .

Such a great feminist.

In truth, I've no idea what I'm more angry about. Calling Joss Whedon a rapist is definitely batshit crazy, not because I know for a fact he isn't. But the reasons (and I loathe to say reasons) behind her thought process, which led to this proclamation on such a public forum is exactly why innocent men can and have been accused of  rape. It also belittles Joss Whedon's wife, a woman whom I have no doubt is in a normal, healthy relationship. There is no proof she is a cowering, scared, and abused woman whose husband forces himself emotionally and physically. And yet, NaziFem would  point blank refuse to consider the very real possibility that she was wrong, and anyone who questioned her was either ignored, deleted, told they were obviously stupid and brain-washed by the evil man, or all of the above.

Is this feminism? Taking extremely biased and hate-filled opinions and using them to blast people as stupid and ignorant? Or worse, rapists? No. These "feminists" are not feminists.

Women who want equal rights are feminists. Women who are true feminists don't hate men just because they have a penis.

Women like NaziFem don't want equality. They're guilty of the worst kind of hypocrisy. Just as they assume every man in the world wants to belittle women and "keep them down", if they had it their way, the I AM WOMAN brigade wouldn't seek equality, but would just simply switch the gender roles as they see it and claim superiority over the men. They're guilty because they assume woman who don't agree with their views are stupid and brainwashed by the men, not that they might just hold different and no less valid opinions. And yes, just because I really don't agree with NaziFem's opinion doesn't mean I don't consider it valid. It is, to her. I pity her the same way she pities us poor little brainwashed women with minds of our own.

I want equality. True equality. I want a world that doesn't base opinion on gender, sexuality, race or creed - but personality, talent and worth. I want people to respect, and respectfully agree or disagree with, everyone's else's opinions.

I don't think Joss Whedon rapes his wife. I don't think Mrs Whedon would appreciate the fact anyone would implicate her husband like that.

If that makes me brainwashed, then so be it.

Sometimes, I love it when my boyfriend takes the initiative too.

Suck it.