Monday, 22 March 2010

Skip to the end

Oh how I miss the tinterweb! I'm getting there... ever so slooowwwllyyy, but I'm getting there.

I've been working in Sainsbury's for just over a week now, and I love it! Officially I'm a Code Checker, which basically means I go around the store making sure the stock is there, anything dated for today is reduced (and technically I can reduce the price to whatever I choose - oh the power!!) , and my favourite bit, I'm usually the one customers go to for help. It's not rocket science, or even working in a cafe, but I love being around people, and I LOVE knowing I'm earning my own money. I see good things working there. Everyone has been uber friendly, and I'm pretty confident already, within myself, being back in work.

Gof is moving in, in two months. His socks and some DVD's have already made their way over to my house, but it'll be interesting to see how real life living together. After over two years together, and pretty much living in each others pockets, the only real change will be the finances. Which we've already discussed. And discussed, yada yada yada! It'll still be a big step, I know, but I trust us to cope.

I also got a new laptop! An Acer Aspire 5532, to be specific. In true squee style, me hearts it big time :D Now all I need is proper net access at my flat and I'll be cooking with... well, binary code?

Ok, I'm all over the place today. This entire blog is totally unstructured, I know this, but I'm emotionally all over the place even though I'm probably the most stable I've ever been!

Right, let's just recap -

*I have a new job
*I love said job
*Gof is moving in soon - scary and exciting
*I bought a new laptop to celebrate new job
*I'm getting excited about about The G already since I know Steve and Frances are coming too
*I'm writing my character diaries again, and am thinking of creating a new blog for them
*I just ate some ice cream
*Mock The Week is on Dave
*I should go to bed soon.

And the bestest ever thing? I'm deliriously happy right now.

Long may it last.

Friday, 12 March 2010

And then some...

I have a job! Finally! I start tomorrow, and will talk you all about it then. Right now, I just feel like everything is finally falling into place - a real step in the direction of life! There's so much coming up, that I just want to jump up and down and scream in the best possible way.

But I'm nervous. The old me, still hidden in a small way, is silently waiting for something to go wrong, for something to topple and make all else that's going right fall down with it. I try not to pay attention to the negative side of me, but it was a defence mechanism I used for so long. I expected the worst, and in a weird way, felt justified in assuming that things go wrong, because they always did. I didn't realise it was self-serving, almost like I sabotaged the good without really realising it. Even now, I need to stop myself from making the obvious mistake to ensure I know I'm doing everything in power not to screw it up. Like I've said before, I want to feel the fear of success. I want to know, with every inch of my being, that I can, and will, succeed. I'm capable. I'm strong.

I've started to over-analyse things again. It's something about me I've tried without much success to change. So, instead of fighting a losing battle, I've utilised it. I turn it into over-analysing the possibilities, decisions about financial matters, emotional ones, whatever, but in a positive way, not thinking only about what can go wrong. As a result, I've been very happy with each and every choice I've made recently, knowing that I've weighed up the pro's and cons in a thoughtful way.

I know what I mean!

I'm still to hit my stride, but I know at least I'm trying to find the rhythm I'll enjoying dancing to, and that's good enough for me.

For now. 

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

First job interview

I went last week, (still quite ill) to the first job interview I've had since I officially began looking for work. It was for Benefit Cosmetics. Dream job, almost, yeah? Nope. Don't get me wrong, I love a good few of their products, like You Rebel, High Beam and Bad Gal liner, but I don't agree with their policy on getting bums on seats within their concession. It's almost forced.

I'll start at the beginning. First up, there were 4 candidates, myself included, up for the "audition". First, we were told abit about the company and how being open and friendly to potential clients was at the base of their company policy. We were told they have a "Show not sell" bottom line, basically, the products *are* great, they sell themselves, but we're there to make sure people know about them. So far, so good, right? They offer mini makeovers, and there's no obligation to buy, no pressure. It's true, I never seen a customer while I was there looking like they felt they *had* to buy.

But wait, the pressure starts before they sit on those seats. We (the four candidates) were taught to walk up to a customer (roleplaying with each other), immediately touch their arm and ask if they'd heard of Benefit. While they answered (and we were told the answer didn't really matter anyway), we were told to slip an arm round their back (to encourage friendliness, of course), and start pushing, I mean leading the customer to the seats while talking about how they simply *have* to try out this line. I don't know about you, but I have serious issue with complete strangers manhandling me, but idea that some people may think that you are invading their personal space was just poohpooh'd away. We were being friendly, that's all!

Before we were lead out to the general public to try this out though, we were asked to give each other a quick makeover, using Dr Feelgood, You Rebel, BeneTint, and High Beam. Happily, I got stuck in, and got compliments both for my technique and for my freshly make over face when the other girl tried it out. I could do this - I know I can, I thought over and over, but when it came to trying to get people over... nope. No can do. I'm not forcing people over.

Benefit looks girly, fun and retro, and the set up, the music, everything about it is welcoming. Except the pressure to sit down. They quite freely admitted that they were the only company in the beauty department to hunt down customers like this, but they made it sound like a good thing. I don't think it is. The products should speak for themselves, and people should want to come over, not avoid it because those crazy girls chase you down and make you sit down. I cut my losses after 10 mins of trying. Doesn't sound like much, but believe, it felt like a million years, if you believe the exaggeration for once. I went back to the girl in charge of us candidates and told her this sort of hard sell, I mean show, was something I couldn't and wouldn't do. She was nice about it, saying this sort of thing wasn't for everyone, and thanked me for trying out.

I know I want a job badly, but I don't want to chase a job I couldn't do well, one I couldn't feel at all comfortable with.

Leaving the store, an employee (different department) asked me how the "audition" went. I told him I couldn't stop traffic, the term they use. He said he didn't really like how they done that either. Made me feel like less of a loser for bailing out.

There'll be other jobs.

Won't there?

Monday, 1 March 2010

*hides in shame*

Yes yes, I'm a naughty girl - I promised another video then disappeared for two weeks! I'm sorry, truly, I am! Thing is, I got sick, then Gof got sick, then we didn't leave my house for more than 20 minutes at a time... for a week. But the plague has ended and Gof is now on holiday anyway, so we've rejoined society, ie. venturing out in broad daylight and coming to his house for the net access!

So, right now, I'm typing this on Mac's Mac (seriously :P), I have a pad full of other blog ideas beside me, I'm considering outfit ideas for the upcoming Emilie Autumn gig (SQUEE!!!) and generally, enjoying sitting up! Gof is sitting next to me playing Alien V Predator on *his* PC (which is faaar superior to a Mac, apparently :P), and I think I've lost him for good... I'm an AvP widow!

*he's grumbling about the Alien eating him alot, it's quite funny*

So, catch up. I went to a job interview last week (more on that in another post, it warrants it, believe me!), and on Saturday, we had a birthday get together for Gof and our mate Chris, they share a birthday (which is actually tomorrow!), so Gof made sushi, Chris made... ummm, loads of hot Japanese food (sorry I forget the names!) and we had about 15 guests and quite abit of alcohol! It was a good night, almost civilised... almost. There's also more done in the flat, but no video because there's no battery power left in the camera and silly cow me keeps forgetting that fact! But I'll get on up soon enough, promise!

In other news, I won a competition! ME! I never win anything! It was a competition held by the ever lovely Miz Candice DeVille over at  Super Kawaii Mama for a AUS$50 voucher courtesy of the beautiful store Violetville :D I'm about to go pick something out, since I'm FINALLY online properly... I'll be back with a pic of what I choose!