So, I’m getting married.
Unusually though, I’m getting married to have a marriage. I’m not that bothered about the wedding. I’m sort of confused on the whole issue really. I’ve never been a wedding-y sort of girl. I mean, I appreciate the pretty when I go, but I also see the problems. I hate how most weddings I’ve been to, I get the impression the couple have spent months, maybe years on this one day. The Wedding Day is suddenly all the couple think about. Fights about the flowers, guests and table plans become the norm. And the cost? Fuggedaboutit!
I’ve known one couple, together for 6 years, re-mortgage their home, get married, and separate before the first repayment. Why? Because one fight about the groom’s best man, (she didn’t like him and wanted her brother to do it instead) pushed them past the point of remembering why they were doing it in the first place. They forgot the celebration of love.
Of course, not every couple turn into wedding-obsessed caricatures of their former selves. Some have it so sorted and simple, in thoughts of not in the style. For some, the whole exercise remains exactly what it always was, a day to celebrate the beginning of a marriage.
Today, I have been watching Four Weddings on LivingTV. It’s definitely shown me how NOT to go about planning our wedding. It’s also shown me that there are some fun, non wedding-y ideas to be had. Mostly, oddly, it’s reaffirmed my prior disgust to the whole shebang. It really does bring out the worst in some people. I’m worried it’ll bring out the worst in me.
From a self affirmed cynic to a not-quite-so hopeless romantic in one beautifully simple relationship. Far now, from seeing only the ugly side of weddings, I now want to celebrate the relationship we have, and forge a bond in front of the people we care about. I’ve held that in my head since we decided to get married. Mostly though, I think about the marriage aspect of this little contract, not the day that celebrates it. Every time I do, I just can’t picture past my Love and I holding hands. I don’t know what to wear, if I should have bridesmaids, the location, anything! I just don’t know. However, I do know I want this day to be special, and mean something, to us both.
Colour me confused alright. I suppose I’m gonna have to make some decisions. First off – we need to set a date!
And so, begins the Tale of the Anti-Bride.
Wish me luck!