Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Are we there yet?

How can it be that I'm still not happy. No, scratch that - I am happy, or at the very least happ-ier, and I love how far I have come in this past few months. But somewhere, in my heart of hearts, I know I'm getting restless.

It's a common occurrence. Every time I feel things can be moving quicker, I get antsy to the point of messing things up just for something to do. I don't want to do that anymore, but how to change? How to stop seeing the glass as half empty?

I'm settled in a gorgeous flat that's steadily becoming a home, my Love is moving in soon, and my job is going well. I have these moments of unbelievable joy and contentment, and I cherish every bit of good luck always, but then... there's this. The down swing. No matter how good things get, I'm still me. I'm still bi-polar and now these down swings seem more ridiculous than ever now that life is improving. Which just makes me angrier.

I need to keep going. Getting on with getting on.

It's worth it, I know. It's all worth it. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

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