ohoh! I found this in my drafts! Win!

So, I’m getting married.

Unusually though, I’m getting married to have a marriage. I’m not that bothered about the wedding. I’m sort of confused on the whole issue really. I’ve never been a wedding-y sort of girl. I mean, I appreciate the pretty when I go, but I also see the problems. I hate how most weddings I’ve been to, I get the impression the couple have spent months, maybe years on this one day. The Wedding Day is suddenly all the couple think about. Fights about the flowers, guests and table plans become the norm. And the cost? Fuggedaboutit!

I’ve known one couple, together for 6 years, re-mortgage their home, get married, and separate before the first repayment. Why? Because one fight about the groom’s best man, (she didn’t like him and wanted her brother to do it instead) pushed them past the point of remembering why they were doing it in the first place. They forgot the celebration of love.

Of course, not every couple turn into wedding-obsessed caricatures of their former selves. Some have it so sorted and simple, in thoughts of not in the style.  For some, the whole exercise remains exactly what it always was, a day to celebrate the beginning of a marriage.

Today, I have been watching Four Weddings on LivingTV. It’s definitely shown me how NOT to go about planning our wedding. It’s also shown me that there are some fun, non wedding-y ideas to be had. Mostly, oddly, it’s reaffirmed my prior disgust to the whole shebang. It really does bring out the worst in some people. I’m worried it’ll bring out the worst in me.

From a self affirmed cynic to a not-quite-so hopeless romantic in one beautifully simple relationship. Far now, from seeing only the ugly side of weddings, I now want to celebrate the relationship we have, and forge a bond in front of the people we care about. I’ve held that in my head since we decided to get married. Mostly though, I think about the marriage aspect of this little contract, not the day that celebrates it. Every time I do, I just can’t picture past my Love and I holding hands. I don’t know what to wear, if I should have bridesmaids, the location, anything! I just don’t know. However, I do know I want this day to be special, and mean something, to us both.

Colour me confused alright. I suppose I’m gonna have to make some decisions. First off – we need to set a date!

And so, begins the Tale of the Anti-Bride.

Wish me luck!

Still alive!

I'm in a strange place of being too busy and not getting enough done. So things, like this blog, have slipped by the wayside.

I'll sit down, very soon, and change that. But for now, I'll leave you with a picture that explains at least some of my absence. *hint, I was off being Elivinessa 

See you soon!

Skunk Anansie - Secretly (uncut)

always loved this song, but today it made me sob a bit. No idea why, but it's still gorgeous!

I've been biding my time, been so subtly kind,
I've got to think so selfishly, 'cos you're the face inside of me.
I've been biding my days, you see evidently it pays,
I've been a friend, with unbiased views, then secretly lust after you
So now you feel rusty You're bored & bemused
You wanna do someone else, so you should be by yourself, instead of here with
me, secretly

Trying hard to think pure, bloody hard when I'm raw,
you're talking out so sexually, 'bout boys & girls & your friggin' dreams.
So Now you feel lusty, you're hot & confused.
You wanna do someone else, so you should be by yourself, instead of here with
me, secretly

So now you've been busted, you're caught feeling used.
You had to do someone else, you should've been by yourself,
You had to do someone else, you should've been by yourself,
instead of here with me, secretly, secretly

Dust

We are not friends. We were, once, so goodwill and pleasant memories carry weight and importance. A small piece of heart reserved for the lovely. But we do not know each others heart. We can not know the depth, for we never really asked.

Its not through lack of caring, no, for that would imply a certain choice when really I forgot time changes who we are. Once upon a time all we did together was all we were, there was no need for questions. Then we grew up, apart, and I never really realised it until one day the realisation hit like dust.

Blind and confused, I forgot who I am for a second, because how can I know myself when I don't know you?

The dust covers my eyes and I cry. I cry for those friends who didn't ever realised they weren't anymore.

*Just something I'm working on*

Public Service Announcement - Charity/thrift/vintage shopping!

More than a few of my friends have commented on my usually successful trips to the charity shops in my area (I live in the mecca of charity and vintage shops :D), and often ask how I always come away with at least one thing. Any time I wear one of my new treasures, someone always asks where I got it and most are surprised when I say the charity shop!

But, surely, they no doubt wonder, that's where bad clothes go to die, after languishing at the bottom of the wardrobe for years - unloved, unwanted?

Well, no. Not always. Don't get me wrong, I usually have to rake through an awful lot of crap to find a diamond, but there is always items that have simply been donated out of the goodness of peoples hearts (or they ran out off storage and were forced at gunpoint to get rid of some stuff they loved but hadn't worn in ages - who, me?) , and they're there to be had.

Today, I was only supposed go to the bank, then the doctors, but walked back into my house with a skirt, a pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. All from charity shops.

I can't find my camera, so I'll describe what I bought.

One pair of black oval toed patent and snakeskin "look" courts with three thin straps, originally from Nine West. A snuggly, but not fluffy baby pink v neck 3/4 sleeve cotton jumper, originally from Debbie Morgan. A pair of bootcut blue jeans, originally from New Look, and finally, a black A-line skirt, originally from Wallis.

In fact, I'm wearing the skirt right now!

So, I started thinking - what are the rules I stick to when I go shopping? Charity and vintage shop finds account for over 80% of my wardrobe, so I must be doing something right if I'm constantly complimented!

So far, here they are.

1. Never buy anything originally from Primark. If you didn't buy it in that place, you're not likely to really want it now, are you? Plus it's so cheaply made, everytime!

2. On that point, look out for labels and brands you know and trust, or that have been recommended.

3. Know your colours. That neon green halter might look fun and kooky on the hanger, but is it really something you'd enjoy wearing if you usually wear pastels?

4. Sizes ALWAYS vary, so don't be depressed if that size 12 fits more like an 8.

5. When you do have a potential diamond in your hands, check stitching, for any flaws, frays and discolouring. In shoes, check the heel tips, inside the shoe and for any scuffs.

6. Yes, I know you like that black cardigan, but you have 12 at home. Do you really need another?

7. No matter what style you lean towards, every woman needs a little black dress, a white shirt, good fitting pair of jeans. 

8. The more of an idea you have of what you're after, the better. There's less of a chance of coming away with either nothing or something just to buy something.

9. In saying that, be open to something amazing to appear out of the blue (and bargain bin!)

10. Don't spend more than you intended to. My rule of thumb, especially with vintage is asking if I would be happy paying double the tag if it was brand new. Mostly, it works out!

Go forth, and happy shopping!!!

Learning to communicate

There's always been a little thought at the back of my head, one of those "I'll get around to it someday" kind of thoughts, when you suddenly realise you've been thinking about it for years but never acted on it.

I've always wanted to learn sign language.

The same way I've always wanted to learn to be fluent in Italian (I understand more than I speak), I've considered Sign as a language I would love to learn, considering there are over a million people in Scotland alone that suffer from some form of hearing impairment, it's a goal I think would benefit myself and the deaf customers I deal with on a regular basis.

Yesterday, in work, a woman approached a fellow colleague for assistance. I watched as she pointed to her ear and shook her head, signalling she was deaf, and said in the sort of thick accent that comes from being deaf from birth, "Help me". My colleague (who is new, it has to be said), look both confused and uncomfortable, so I stepped in to help. With a smile, she touched my arm and pointed to a gap in the shelf, where the product she wanted would be. I said clearly and a little slower than I would normally speak, "Let me check for you". I grabbed my scan gun and zapped the bar code, and my gun showed me there should be more in stock downstairs. I smiled and said "Yes, we have it, I'll go get some" and held up my two fingers to indicate I'd be two minutes. She smiled, counted out her fingers, and held them up. "Six" she said, "Six please".  I nodded and went to go get them.

Luckily, they weren't hard to find, I quickly brought them back, plus more to put on the shelf. It was those ready made drinks in a can, this one being G&T, Sainsbury's are doing an offer on them just now. I put 6 in her basket and she hugged me, pointing at the promo sign and remarked "What a great deal" (not just saying that, it actually is, whether I work there or not! :P) and mimed tipping a drink back and being, well, less than sober! We giggled and she touched my arm again, saying "Thank you" with such warmth in her eyes I almost hugged her right back. Instead, I just replied, "You're welcome" with a smile to match her own, and we parted company.

As lovely as an experience it was, I can't help but feel if I had a basic working knowledge of Sign I could have made my lovely customer's request somewhat easier. I imagine she goes through her whole day, trying to communicate with people who make no real effort to understand her. The new guy, I imagine, isn't a bad person, but he clearly felt uncomfortable and walked away relieved when I took over. I think if there was just one person in her day to day life who unexpectedly could not only understand, but could communicate in a way she knows as well as hearing people can understand the nuances in speech - it's a goal worth having, I think.

So I'm on it. Gonna start, at least, to look online, I've already had a peek and there's a wealth of information to be had on BSL (I'm looking here and here at the moment.), and later, when I've grasped the basics, I'm going to look at evening classes.

It's the right thing to do.

sister, sister...sister, and fictional character!

Man I'm tired. I've been tired all the time lately, the muggy weather and pulling extra hours at work has left Miz a very sleepy girlie! When I get home, all I want to do is sleep, and not think too much. But for today, at least, I figured I should have at least a small update on stuffs, since there has infact been life outside work!

My ickle (half) sister Sara was staying with us for a while, she does have her own flat but it was no longer very safe, she felt scared just being there and I wasn't for having that! I won't lie, it wasn't easy having 3 people, 3 loads of stuff, in an one bed flat, even one as spacious as this, but I'd always much rather that than knowing my sister couldn't feel settled in her own home. She's moved on now, to her mama's new house, now that it was fixed up enough for her, and although I'm glad to have my living room back, I kinda miss the booger :p

In other news, Lynzi, my other sister, the one I'm convinced is the true eldest since she mothers me so much - has gone and done something that will put her in the Hall of Family Fame forever more. Yesterday, she gave birth to Thomas, a bundle of Joy, and Dev. You see, she acted as a surrogate for this lovely couple, and gave them something they had been wanting for such a long time. I can't even begin to imagine how utterly selfless one must be to do something that requires not only your body, but heart and soul.

It was something she thought long and hard about, she already has 2 amazing kids, and doesn't want anymore, but as a mother, she understood, on a level I will never understand, the pull of having a child, and sympathised deeply with the plight of couples who find it hard to conceive. After a year of weighing up the pro's and con's, she decided it was something worth doing, signed with an agency, and was eventually matched with J&D. Since Lynzi is the most awesome of all human beings, she became pregnant on their first try, and not long after, a production company got in touch and asked to document the pregnancy. Since then, they've filmed a few segments, and it will be shown on BBC2 in March. Don't worry, I WILL remind you (incessantly) nearer the time :D

My sister is my personal hero. She's accomplished so much already in her life, and I know she'll continue to amaze me throughout our life. Even so, just for this one thing, the absolute magnitude of it all, will never cease to be the single most epic thing I've ever witnessed. She laughs at me for being so emotional, but I think, in this case, it's totally justified.

Since this seem to be about my sisters, I'll sign off with this last little tidbit. My other other sister (and that ain't even the last of them, just the last I've news about!)  Jaime Leigh, has moved back from the middleofnowheresville where my mama and Lynzi live, to Glasgow. Already we've had two nights out on the lash, and I predict many more in the near future! It's good to have the lil angel*not* back home where she belongs, partying with me! I love it :D

Normal service (if there ever was!) will resume as soon as.... well... when I've got more to say!

Oh oh!

I did start writing my character diaries and had hoped to update daily until the Gathering, but Real Life sucks! I have started, posted one, and have written more, but they're all out of sequence as I write from different points in Livvy's lifetime. I promise to sit down really soon and link them up so I can publish them in order. Anyone wanting to know more, drop me a line and I'll get back to you!

Mwah!