The Not The Resolutions List for 2010

I want to discover new bands, new music. Online, gigs, anywhere!

I want to remind everyone they are absolutely beautiful, just the way they are.

I want to go to bed knowing I've done the dishes.

I want to make sure Gof knows at all times he is loved very very much.

I want to indulge in my girlie side without feeling like I look like I want to be a little girl.

I want to write more often.

I want to decide.

I want to take my make up off every night.

I want to stick to a food plan, not a diet.

I want to see my flat grow into my home.

I want to stick at a job.

I want to find joy in what I do.

I want to see my family more often.

I want to create beautiful things.

I want to go to more burlesque shows.

I want my savings to be savings, not emergency money.

I want to let go of the hurt.

I want to wear something each day that has no purpose other than being lovely.

I want to take more pictures.

I want to reach for the stars....

A(nother) small update.

I'm a bit broken right now. I'm literally battered and bruised. Some people just shouldn't drink. No, scratch that - some people shouldn't drink and then bust into someone's home to cause trouble. Especially when that someone is your estranged sister and she has a home filled with people who love her. Especially a few small hours after the New Year bells have rung. Yes, a grown woman beat me because I wouldn't allow her to go near my dear friend. That lovely lady is suffering physical and mental pains, which this grown woman, full of jealously, bitter hate and alcohol, knew all about. And yet, still wanted to attack her own sister in a completely unprovoked rage.

I could repeat what happened over and over again and still it doesn't make sense. Every family has their issues, this I know (and don't we all!), but the vile blackness spewing from that, that thing's mouth... it's worse than the attack on me. Her other sister, a woman I've met before and disliked on sight because of her petty behaviour has joined in, and took the side of that drunken maniac. My friend, my amazingly generous friend, now needs to go through life knowing her own sisters hate her that much - and for no real reason. Jealously is a powerful, destructive thing.

Since then, things have only got worse. There have been death threats, and threats towards any (as yet unborn) children my friend may have, both of them threatening her with this since she dared go to the police.

The police are involved, and there has been a charge of assault for what that woman done to me. Statements taken, and pictures of my injuries have been done today. I hope, for my friend, for her husband too, that her darling sister is punished to the full extent of the law. I hope that her other sister is similarly charged for the threats.

...and to think, these women have sons. How ashamed must they be? Those poor boys.

I've been busy! honest!!

Ok, so with my promise to myself that I wouldn't run before I walk, I haven't installed internet access in the new flat yet. And I won't, until I see what the bills will amount to, so I know I can afford it on my still limited income. So even though I wanted to update more often, most of my time is spent at the flat, and it's coming along quite nicely!

I've got kitchen and bathroom flooring down (with loads of help from G!), got a washing machine, and various other kitchen stuff, including a table and chairs. I love sitting at the table, cup of herbal tea, putting on my make up and watching whatever DVD takes my fancy of a morning! It's lovely, and quite possibly my favourite room of the flat right now. In the living room, I have bought a couch and a lovely chair, which, of course I took a picture of!

I love it! Into the bedroom, I have my bed, dressing table, and two chests of drawers. I've a long way to go, but it already feels like home, *my* home.

In other news, I'm travelling on Wednesday to spend my Christmas with my mama, two sisters and nephew and niece. To say I'm excited would really be the understatement of the century! I'm doing my "Scottish" shop tomorrow, and will be laden with plain bread, shortbread, potato scones, square sausage, Irn Bru (watch the vid below!), and other various Scottish yummies that you either can't get in Wales, or you only get poor imitations! (Sorry Welsh potato cake!)

When I get back (29th), I'll be spending my New Years with my friends, then 2010 will start with a little surprise... as well as continuing to turn my house into my home... I've made a momentous decision. All will be revealed at the other side of Big Ben!

Til then, have a beautiful Christmas and a New Years you'd rather forget!

xxx

plan of attack!

Right now, I'm in bed fully clothed, eating (drinking?) Chicken broth and willing this cold away! G and his friends are downstairs having their weekly geekery session, so I'm typing this out on my blackberry, hoping it works! It'd be easy to slip into a poor pity me routine, this is the first time I've been sick in ages, and it just had to be the week I'm moving, but really, I've no time for pity parties. So far, I've got my little nic naks I carried with me from place to place, and along with my friends generous help, I have a bunch of borrowed things. A TV (courtesy of G), a fantastic double sized air bed (thank you Sandy and Nathan!), a kettle (cheers dad!), and, most importantly, and not borrowed(!), a bottle of champagne! (You know how to prioritise Chris and Maggie!) I've bought a microwave too, so I can have simple meals and the like while I'm there, but mostly, I will be at G's for proper meals.

This week, the big stuff happens. I'll be moving my bedroom furniture out of the attic flat, where it has been stored all this time due to the kindness of Blitzer, Sharron and Niamh. Also, a workmate of G's has very kindly donated a bed base and a portable TV, which will probably live in my kitchen. I get paid on Tuesday too, so I'll hopefully be able to get a table and chairs for the kitchen, and maybe a few more things, like dishes and mugs. I've had the fantastic Tracey from GAM H fill in my CCG form, so if I manage to get money from that, I'll be able to get my cooker, fridgefreezer and washing machine, and a sofa for the living room. That probably won't happen til after New Years, but its in, so fingers crossed!

Ok, typing this out on the BB is starting to hurt my eyes, so I'll stop for now.

More pics and videos coming up!!

S.O.P.H.I.E

Nothing will make this terrible crime right, but we can pull together and work towards it never happening again. My heart goes out to Sophie's family and friends, and I have huge respect for the work they are channeling their grief into. Let's do more than hope this never happens again. Wear a wristband, buy a eyeliner or simply donate. Anything and everything helps. Feel free on this post alone, to lift and repost.

Get the word out.

Stamp Out Prejudice, Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere.

That was quick!!

Lookie lookie what I got!

It's over, the waiting and constant moving is over. I can settle, cosy in and make this beautiful place mine. Lets go back a week ago. Wednesday, I was out of the hostel on other, (personal to someone else so won't go into!) business all day. That night, I was handed a bundle of messages from various Housing Associations, and of those two offering me a house! The next morning, I rang each back for more information, and either couldn't speak to the person who called or had to leave a voicemail. These people were obviously not waiting by the phone for my fabulous self to call! :P

Finally, I heard back from PHA, a Housing Association apparently so difficult to get into that the Hostel staff were shocked they called! What's more, they wanted to visit me on that day! Fast foward to 2.30pm, and I welcomed two lovely ladies into my little flat, where we discussed my current situaition, the circumstances leading up to it, and where I hope to go from there. Paperwork completed, they asked to see my little abode. Gladly, I obiliged them, and ohhing and ahhing, they complimented me on the way I'd fixed up the place. Settling back down, they dropped the bombshell.

"We're giving you a flat."

I couldn't believe it. They gave me the information, specs about the flat, but I was barely listening. "It's over", I kept thinking. "It's really happening, no more moving!". I heard the phrase "You've pretty much won the lottery", but really, they didn't tell me it was the Euro Millions!

Think I'm kidding? Watch the video and get back to me.



See what I mean? Let's skip past the fact I look HORRENDOUS (been really ill actually :S) and get to screaming with GLEE and doing the happy dance!!

I've really lucked out on this. Forget the pity parties and the fact I've been on the move for about 18 months... I still don't think I deserved something as fantastic as this! But it's mine, and I'm not giving back!

I moved out of the hostel on Tuesday (more on that later) and I spent my first night there last night. It's all still a dream.

I've made another video, but forgot the camera (silly me) so will upload it tomorrow. Right now I still don't have a lot of furniture and so I'm spending most nights at Gof's, but I'm there during the day, and it's getting there. That's all that matters.

I'm getting there.

Oh, and I was wrong. It isn't all over. It's just beginning.

In a country far far away....

Miz found herself in a place with very little internet access. Sometimes, she was able to return to her dear Love's house, but the computer in the corner was no match for his arms, and she spent the little time she had curled up in them instead of writing her blog. It was always too soon before she had to return to place she needed to live. Time was short, and Love won out each and every time. 


But during this break from the blog, a number of new, exciting and plain strange things happened. Everytime, she thought, I should blog about this, but when the opportunity arose... so did his arms. She let chance and chance slip, and before she knew it, a month had gone by. How do update such a load of new information? She'd updated as much in little snippets as she could, but she could no longer hold off - so she sat, and began to type...

I hate not writing. More speficially, I hate not typing! I've tried to actually, you know, write during my time away, but in all honesty, I give up, and half baked ideas for articles and the like end up lying in a folder I know I should look at, but never do. But then, in this time, the evenings I usually sit at the computer and while away the hours, I have actually started a new, quite lovely, routine.

I pin curl my hair, make a cup of tea, and cosy in on the sofa and knit. Yes, knit. I'm trying to learn. It's nice. a lovely change.

But, I should rewind. I'm still at the hostel. But I've been moved into the one and only full flat within the project. Before, I had a delightful Pepto-Bismol pink room with an en-suite, and I loved it enough to make it look like mine. I was complimented several times on how lovely I had my room, but when the opportunity arose to move downstairs into the selfcontained flat (bedroom, living room with kitchen, shower room/WC), I jumped at it. It's nice to have that space thats all mine. Meanwhile, paperwork has never moved so fast! My DLA is sorted, I'm on the Housing Lists of several areas near both Love and my dad, and Homechoice have also accepted me. So I'm on the right track. I'm also still involved with GAMH and have recently signed up to the Condtion Management Program, so that when I'm settled into my own place, I'll have the help I need to get back into work. Other than that, I'm still waiting on an appointment from Riverside, but I realise, that especially at this time of year, that their waiting lists are *that* bit longer. I don't mind so much, the waiting. I'd rather know I was in the queue, than doing nothing at all.

I have have an almost routine too. A routine I want to stick to, for the length of time I'm there. I wake up around 9am, and have a cup of coffee, and spread up everything I haven't done the night before. I then have a Wii Fit workout, have breakfast, shower, then leave for the day. Visiting friends, doing "official" stuff, whatever, even just walking around town, although thats getting more difficult with the Christmas build up. I then go back up the road, make dinner, and either pull out my knitting or scrap book, one I'm making for my flat. I'll take pictures, and show you another time. With either the tv or a DVD on, I'll chill out, occasionally checking my NEW BLACKBERRY (yes I'm pleased :D) for messages or facebook updates, depending on the signal, dotted with painting my nails, doing my hair, etc. Generally, taking it easy, but keeping my mind on the main goal. Complete self sufficiency!

I'm almost there....